என் கவிதை (4): கொடிது கொடிது…

இப்பதிவை இராஜசேருக்கு அர்ப்பணிக்கிறேன்

கொடிது கொடிது இளமையில் வறுமை;
என்றாள் ஒளவை,
அனால் அதனினும் கொடிது இளமையில் மரணம்;
அதனினும் கொடிது நண்பனின் மரணம்;
அதனினும் கொடிது அதைக் காண
உயிரோடு இருப்பது தானே.

- ரெமதி (எ) ஜெயரத்தின மாதரசன்

Rajasekar, Rest In Peace…

Rajasekar. R

(20-October-1987 – 25-May-2011)

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A Monolouge: 25th May, 2011: A Black Day of My Life
‘Wait a minute. Is it true? It is really him?’ – I read the text message for the third time.
It read:

From: FACEBOOK
Message:
Siva to you:
Dai…
RAJASEKHAR , the one who studied with us in Petit ,
passed away today ..

‘What?’

‘It should be some one else by the same name’, ‘God it can’t be him’. ‘It definitely can’t. How can it be him?’

‘How?’

I ran from the mall to to take my bike back to home. It was the longest ride of my life. All the way along I was hoping and praying that it should be some one else. I promised mary I will pray 10 rosarys if it was not him. Ha….

All my prayers were in vain. It was Him.

Anand said it was an accident, in hyderabad. Lory hit his bike.

—

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I studied from 4std to 10std with him. He was one of the brightest in our class. Not those haughty ones but the friendly one.

I was not very close to him, but still. How could this happen to him. That too this young age? It is truly not fair. In situation like these, I loose my faith and question God. I do not see any fair/good/logical reason for him to pass away.

I can recall only two of my very vague memories about him.

ONE:
It was second week of my X std. I accompanied with my mom to an advocates house for some legal consultancy. His house was right next to the advocates house. It was a pleasant surprise. He invited me to his home and his mom gave me a cup of coffee. That was the very first time I went to a friends house. Next day in class, he said to everyone that I came to his home.

All thruout 10std, Mr. Ilangovan Pazanoor (Tamil Teacher), used to advise him to study well because of his family situation.. Now…???

TWO:
It was in 8Std. Public exams were going on. I remember because the school was rescheduled to afternoon shift. While standing in line to enter into the class, he came to me, took a comb from his pocket and combed my hair. After changing it to two or three styles. He said, “un mudi epadi varunalum padiyuthuda.” (lit. your hair can be styled in any form). That was the first complement I ever received about my physique.

These happened 8 and 10 years back. I wish I can say these thing to him now.

It was six years ago, the last time I met him in person.

We lost touch and went on with our lives. I caught him on Facebook few months back thru Antony’s. And now because of the same damm Facebook, I am grieving..

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I am now sitting before my computer refreshing his Facebook page. Reading his wall.. reading what his friends has to say about him. And hoping that some one, some how, will post that it was all just a prank..

Please someone post that it is a prank.. Please… I beg you… ;-(

How To Be Alone?

Watch this wonderful video. It teaches you the wonder of being alone. Always remember: being alone and being lonely are different.

A video by fiilmaker, Andrea Dorfman, and poet/singer/songwriter, Tanya Davis.

Transcript:

If you are at first lonely, be patient. If you’ve not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren’t okay with it, then just wait. You’ll find it’s fine to be alone once you’re embracing it.

We could start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library. Where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there. Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books. You’re not supposed to talk much anyway so it’s safe there.

There’s also the gym. If you’re shy you could hang out with yourself in mirrors, you could put headphones in (guitar stroke).

And there’s public transportation, because we all gotta go places.

And there’s prayer and meditation. No one will think less if you’re hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

Kill Me, My Faithful Friends!

Image via Wikipedia

Kill me, my faithful friends,
For in my being killed is my life.

Love is that you remain standing
In front of your Beloved
When you are stripped of all your attributes;
Then His attributes become your qualities.

Between me and You, there is only me.
Take away the me, so only You remain.

Translated from Arabic by Andrew Harvey

Mansur Al-Hallaj (858 – 922)

Change of Heart

Image by Tony₂ via Flickr

I made a promise not so long ago
That I will take care of you
I promised to be your friend
Till the world comes to an end

We made good music together
Perfect harmony with each other
I’m like the lyrics and you are the melody
Of this beautiful song’s story

You are my best friend and you know that
I’ll be with you and there’s no doubt
But something happened deep inside
I can’t continue to be at your side

A Felicitation Speech

Image by Mukumbura via Flickr

I found the following speech online, while trying to find a good speech for my friend Sathish to speak in recursion 2010. Even thought this speech was not helpful for me, its very nice, Hope you will also think the same. It is a farewell speech by Rahul Divay, Tolani College BMS batch of 2007

Greek philosopher Heraclitus once said; “There is nothing constant in life except change”

Today as I stand before you I am reminded of his powerful words. 20 years have passed by…times have changed, life has changed for the better….

We have lived chapters of our lives!…

We’ve grown up haven’t we?

Lyrics: Where Are You Now

“People like personal because they are able to relate”

To my favorite teacher
told me never give up
To my fifth grade crush
Who I thought I really loved
To the guys I’ve missed and the girls we’ve kissed
Where are you now

To my ex-best friends
Don’t know how we grew apart
To my favorite band
Sing along in my car
To the face I see in my memory
Where are you now

Where are you now?
Cause I’m thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn’t for you
I would never be who I am

Who is a Friend?

I saw these series of videos where in people being questioned about “Friendship”. Those questions were interesting, deep and meaning full ones. Just for a moment, stop everything you are doing now and try to answer them from your heart. Be true to yourself. I am sure it will be as inspiring to you as it was to me.

Forgiveness

Image by onkel_wart via Flickr

HE is the embrace and the essence of forgiveness..!

I once read one of the most cynical statements about forgiveness. It went by like this:

“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way. So I stole one and asked Him to forgive me!” (Emo Philips)

Yet, Christian love becomes almost disembodied and a thin vapor without the steely act of forgiveness – be it on the home front or the global setting.

Here are a few thoughts on “FORGIVENESS”:

• The most creative power given to the human spirit is the power to heal the wounds of a past it cannot change.
• We do our forgiving alone inside our hearts and minds; what happens to the people we forgive depends on them.
• The first person to benefit from forgiving is the one who does it.
• Forgiving happens it three stages: we rediscover the humanity of the person who wronged us; we surrender our right to get even; and we wish that person well.
• Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound, the longer the journey.
• Forgiving does not require us to reunite with the person who broke our trust.
• We do not forgive because we are supposed to; we forgive when we are ready to be healed.

உயிர் நட்பாக

மரணமே வந்தாலும்
உன்னை மறக்காத இதயம் வேண்டும்
மீண்டும் ஜனனம் என்றால் அதில் நீயே வேண்டும்
உறவாக அல்ல
என் உயிர் நட்பாக…